


time is of the essence (my heart drums to your presence)

by illclosemyeyes



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - The Time Traveler's Wife Fusion, F/F, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18983860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illclosemyeyes/pseuds/illclosemyeyes
Summary: “No, it’s okay. I guess this must be weird for you too,” Juliana says. “I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that it seems like I’ve visited you not once, but many times. This doesn’t usually happen. I don’t usually go back to the same place. It’s too much of a coincidence.”“I know,” Valentina pauses, unsure. She herself doesn’t understand it very well. “But big events pull you in, right?” She smiles when Juliana nods, dumbfounded. At the back of her mind there’s this thought of it being adorable. “I’m a big event.”--the time traveler’s wife au absolutely nobody asked for





	time is of the essence (my heart drums to your presence)

_Juliana is 20, Valentina is 5_

 

 

There are a few rules Valentina must follow at all times:

  1. Do not eat desert before lunch.
  2. Do not go to the pool by herself.
  3. Do not EVER go into Eva’s bedroom.



Simple rules, really. Not that hard to learn. But to follow? That’s another story. Which must be why she’s currently:

  1. Eating a piece of chocolate cake
  2. While hidden in the pool
  3. Wearing Eva’s new red jacket that she got for her birthday



In her defense, it’s really boring at home with her parents away, Guille at soccer practice and Eva at a friend’s house. There’s only so much Valentina can do to distract herself, even if her house is really big.  Besides, she’s pretty sure these rules are stupid anyway. It’s not like she doesn’t know how to swim, or like she won’t want to have lunch just because she ate some chocolate cake. As for Eva’s bedroom, it was only one time that she broke something and she was 5 at the time. She’s older now, she’s way more careful. Mamá says she’s growing up to be a very responsible girl.

But, just because she knows the rules are stupid, doesn’t mean she wants to be found out breaking them. Rules may be dumb, but she’s not. So when she hears someone coming, she does what every smart 7 year old should do: hides. There’s this place under the balcony that Chivis never remembers to look.

Except it’s not Chivis. It’s a girl Valentina has never seen before. A girl who’s naked. Valentina feels cold in her belly. She hugs her legs close to her chest, hides her face behind her knees. The girl seems to be looking for something, or someone, and Valentina’s heart beats really fast when the girl spots her hiding place.

“Whoa, hello there, sunshine,” the girl says, crouching to get closer to her. Valentina holds her breath, hugs her legs even tighter. She wants to put some distance between her and the girl, but the wall is already behind her back. “Hey, no. It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you, Val.”

“Who are you?” Valentina asks. “And how do you know my name?”

“My name is Juliana. I’m your friend.”

“No, you are not,” Valentina says. “I don’t know you!”

“No, but I know you.” The girl, Juliana, winks. “Hey, I’m gonna get up real fast to grab that towel over there, okay? I promise I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Juliana runs around the pool, grabs a large towel from one of the chairs and throws around her back. Valentina thinks she could run too, straight to the house, but she can’t move. And maybe the girl seems nice. And maybe Valentina is a little curious.

“Hi,” Juliana says when she returns. “I’m sorry I scared you. Are you still scared? Please, don’t be. It’s all right.”

“Are you friends with my sister?”

Juliana grimaces.  “With Eva? No, not really. I told you, I’m friends with you.”

“But I don’t know you!”

“Can you keep a secret?” Juliana asks. Valentina shrugs. “No, you have to promise. This is very important.”

Valentina rolls her eyes. “Fine, I promise.”

“I know you in the future. I’m a time traveler.”

“You’re lying!”

Juliana laughs. “I promise you, I’m not. And if you want just a bit, I can prove it to you.”

“How?”

“You’ll see.”

“Time travelers aren’t real.” Valentina shakes her head.

“No? You think I’m not real? I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you are a time traveler. You are a real person, but a fake time traveler. I’m not dumb, you know?”

Juliana smiles. “Oh, I know you are not dumb. You are many things, but dumb is not one of them. Which is why I trust you.”

Valentina narrows her eyes. Juliana is weird, but like, she seems cool. She’s a nice person, with a pretty smile. Valentina doesn’t think bad people have pretty smiles.

“Why are you naked?”

“You see, when I time travel, I can’t bring anything with me. Not even my clothes.”

When Valentina travels, she always takes several dresses with her. She thinks it must be horrible to travel without any clothes at all. Not that she believes Juliana is a time traveler, but. You know. Traveling naked anywhere doesn’t really seem nice.

“So, do you think you could bring me some clothes? Maybe an old shirt from your mother’s? Or some pants?”

“Right now?” Valentina asks, jumping to her knees.

“No, no need. I’ll be going soon. But maybe you can bring some later, hide it under the balcony. So I can wear them when I come back.”

“You’re coming back? When?”

“I’m not sure, but if you let them here, I’ll find them.”

Valentina thinks for a moment. She still doesn’t believe her, but even if she’s not a time traveler, she must get cold without her clothes, and she knows where her mom keeps the clothes she’s going to donate to charity (she always takes Valentina with her when she does it). She nods.

“And do you think you can also bring something to eat? Like that cake you were eating today? It’s one of my favorites.”

Valentina gasps. “How do you know I was eating cake?”

“You have chocolate all over you face, sunshine.”

“Oh!” Valentina laughs, cover her mouth quickly with her hand. She tries to clean her face with the sleeve of her jacket, forgetting for a second it belongs to her sister.

“I’m going now, Val.”

“Where?”

Juliana shrugs. “Who knows? Hopefully back home, in 2020. But maybe I’ll end up in 2023, instead. Or 2010.”

“But it’s 2004!”

“I know! Weird, right?”

Weird? Yes. Cool? Also yes.

“You’re not lying?”

“I will never lie to you, Val.”

“Okay.”

“Bye, Valentina.”

“Bye, Juliana.”

And then Juliana is gone.

 

 

_Juliana is 18, Valentina is 21_

 

 

Here’s the thing about moving to Mexico when she’s 18 years old: she doesn’t know anyone, doesn’t know the city, and even though she knows the language and the culture, she sometimes still feels like an outsider.

Luckily for her, she’s also a time traveler. So not belonging is something she mastered by the young age of 10, when her condition first appeared. As the years went by, she learned how to navigate through a life that always seemed to want her somewhen else, and never really let her stay in one place for long, before yanking her around to another day, another month, another year.

But, before Mexico she at least knew her away around. Which, for a time traveler, is essential. And since she doesn’t know anyone anyway, she has taken to walk around the city, trying to memorize the streets and stores, so when she inevitably finds herself naked somewhere, she will at least know how to get home or where to hide.

And that’s how she first sees the girl. Just crossing the street, having a fight with a boy. Juliana doesn’t know how to explain it, which is saying something when she’s already used to so many weird things in her life, but there’s something about the her. Something that makes Juliana stop and stare. Her mom notices, and she makes a lame excuse about the girl’s clothes, but the truth is that’s something else. Like a pull, maybe. Like something is vibrating in her chest, waiting.

That should have been sign number 1.

The girl walks away, and Juliana lets her.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise, really, when she sees the same girl sitting on a park bench, crying. What does come as a surprise is that Juliana stops. The rational part of her, the part that’s been traveling through time for 8 years, the part that tells her keep her head down and herself out of trouble, this part that’s been her faithful companion for all this years? This part is powerless to resist this other feeling, this need to make sure the girl is okay.

This should have been sign number 2.

“Are you okay?” She asks, sitting next to her. “Do you need anything?”

“Be alone,” the girl snaps, doesn’t even look at Juliana.

And honestly? What else could Juliana expect? That this girl she’s never met would be okay with a stranger stopping her on the street? Juliana herself would hate it. She stands, shaking her head at her own foolishness. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just that I’d seen you before and I just, I don’t know. I’ll leave you alone.”

“No, wait. I’m sorry,” the girl stops her. Juliana is tempted to keep walking, but again, there’s this thing that stops her. She turns around. “Oh.”

Juliana notices how she goes rigid, her mouth falling open, a flash of recognition in her eyes. Really, sign number 3 right there.

But again, Juliana ignores it, sits back next to her. “So, what happened?”

“I don’t understand. I can’t believe it’s -” the girl stops mid sentence, glances around. Juliana notices her hands are shaking. “I mean, boys. I don’t understand boys. Sometimes I think they are from another planet,” the girl continues.

And well, Juliana herself is a time traveller. Who’s to say there isn’t any space travelers out there, right? But also, this is not something you can say to someone you just met. So she tries a different approach.

“I like your clothes.”

The girl laughs, presses her hand against her chest. Her eyes dance around Juliana, the park, Juliana again and she clearly doesn’t know how to respond, so Juliana saves her the trouble. “Oh, don’t look at me. I just arrived and don’t even have money to buy anything.”

“Well, I think you have plenty of style,” she says. Which is nice, but obviously a lie (there’s only so much you can do when you only have one pair of pants and two t-shirts). “Besides, money is overrated.”

It’s something only a rich girl could say, but Juliana lets it slide, goes for a joke instead. “You don’t care about money? Give me everything you have,” she says, leaning forward.

The girl actually seems shocked. Juliana tries to hold her face for a few seconds, but as soon as the girl puts some distance between them, she breaks. “It was a joke, I’m sorry,” she laughs. If possible, the girl looks even more confused, stuck between almost laughing and almost crying. “No, I’m sorry. Don’t cry, I was kidding.” She wraps her arm around the girl’s shoulder, pull her in for a hug. It’s so natural to her that she doesn’t think twice, not even when the girl lets her, her warm breath making goosebumps on Juliana’s skin for the few seconds when she rests her head on Juliana’s shoulder.

When they break apart it’s the girl the reaches out her hand. “Valentina.”

“Juliana,” she answers, shaking Valentina’s hand.

“Juliana,” Valentina repeats. “Do you want to go for a burger?”

Juliana notices she still hasn’t let go of her hand, but then again, it’s not like Juliana did, so. “A burger would be nice. I love burgers.”

“Yeah, I know,” Valentina says. And there is sign number 4. “I mean, you look like someone who likes burgers. Who doesn’t, right?”  She stands up, finally letting go of Juliana’s hand. “Shall we?” She giggles, and it’s contagious.

If Juliana sticks her hand on her back pocket to stop herself from doing something dumb like reaching out for Valentina’s again, and immediately follows, who can blame her?

So when Juliana feels that tingling sensation on her toes, the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, and when the cold that’s so characteristic of an approaching time travel spreads through her chest? She almost wants to stick her foot down and say to time “not now”. She even considers bargaining, like begging with an “i will spend three entire days stuck in 2003 again if i can please stay here just for a little bit longer”, but she knows it’s pointless. When time wants her, time has her.

“Valentina, I’m sorry. I have to go.”

Valentina faces drop. “What? No. Please, stay just for a little while.”

“Trust me, if I would if I could. But I really, really need to go,” she says. She can already feel her body vanishing and the effort to stay is making her a little nauseous.

Valentina must notice something, because Juliana sees understanding in her eyes.

“Okay,” she nods. She steps closer, grabs the free hand Juliana stupidly didn’t also stick on her back pocket. “Juls. Come and find me. Please.”

Sign number 5.

Juliana runs.

 

 

_Juliana is 18, Valentina is 9_

 

 

Juliana has found herself in many many many terrible places before. Once, it was on the roof of her school. Another, in the backseat of a moving bus. More times than she can count, it was on the street of her car accident, watching from all angles her father shoot a man in the face before driving away and crashing on a truck coming from the other direction.

But inside a pool? That’s a first. It’s an indoor pool, and outside there’s what seems to be a garden. So maybe she found herself in a club for the elite of Ciudad de Mexico. Juliana doesn’t even know how to swim, which now she thinks she should rectify. This pool is shallow, she can touch the bottom with her feet, but she can only count on luck once. Twice and she’s playing with fire.

Or water.

She walks to the edge, already looking around to see if she can find some clothes to wear. The steps she has to take are so ingrained in her head that she doesn’t even have to think much about them anymore: finding clothes is always the first. It’s easier to explain anything or come up with any excuse when you have clothes on.

But there, running through the grass on the outside, with a bundle of clothes on her arms, is a small girl who looks remarkably like the girl Juliana just left standing on a park. Too remarkably to call it a coincidence.

Sign number 6 it is.

“Juls, you’re here!! I’m so glad you are here.” The girl stops to grab a towel, waits for Juliana in front of the pool steps. “Hurry up, Juls!” She says, skipping from one foot to the other. It’s pure muscle memory that has Juliana putting on the pink sweatpants and pink t-shirt. Because if it were just for her useless brain she would just stare at this little girl with a high ponytail and chubby cheeks, too dumbfounded to move. “Why are you looking at me like this?”

“Valentina?”

The girl frowns. “Duh.”

“Oh my god.”

“Here, for your hair,” tiny Valentina says.

“Thank you,” Juliana says, reaching out for the towel Valentina is holding. “You are being weird today.” Today? As if she has seen Juliana before? Which, okay, makes total sense now that Juliana connects the dots, but it’s no less disturbing. “Are you done?”

Juliana’s hair is still dripping wet, but tiny Valentina doesn’t seem to care. She grabs the towel from Juliana’s hands, throws it carelessly behind her. “Finally, let’s go,” she says, reaching for Juliana’s hand.

“Where?” Juliana asks.

Tiny Valentina actually huffs. “Inside,” she says, with a roll of her eyes.

Which seems to finally get Juliana back on earth. “What? No,” she says, yanking her arm back. It makes tiny Valentina trip and Juliana has to reach for her shoulders to keep her upright. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“Why are you doing this?” Tiny Valentina asks and it feels so much like an accusation that Juliana feels her heart clenching in her chest.

The last thing she wants is to hut this little girl. “I’m sorry, Valentina. But I can’t go inside,” she says.

“Why not?”

“No one can see me, Valentina.” It’s important that she knows this.

This whole thing is already a mess with her meeting two Valentinas in the same day. A Valentina who apparently already knew her before, so Juliana is starting to think some future version of herself already knows a past version of this already past Valentina.

How is this her life?

Juliana doesn’t even want to consider the possibility of other people seeing her. Her method has always been the same and it’s keeping her out of trouble: travel in time, lay low, wait to go back. Avoid talking to anyone, avoid interactions. The only person she allows herself to talk to is her mom.

And herself, for obvious reason.

“Oh, I know, Juls,” tiny Valentina says, looking a little bit relieved, but Juliana’s own relief at a bad situation seemingly avoided is cut short. “But it’s just my mom.”

“No!” Juliana snaps. Valentina takes a step back, and Juliana hates herself when tears start pooling Valentina’s eyes.

She wants to apologize again, wants to stay and makes things right, but unlucky for her, time doesn’t seem to want the same thing.  “I have to go,” she says.

Valentina bites the inside of her cheek, in a mix of angry and sadness. “Already?”

“I’m sorry,” Juliana says, for what it seems to be the 30th time is 3 minutes. She kneels in front of Valentina, conflicted. She wants to step closer, maybe pull her to a hug. Would that be okay? To hug a strange child?

But then again, Valentina doesn’t seem to think Juliana is a stranger.

It takes less then two seconds for Juliana to reach a decision, but when she reaches for Valentina, she notices that her hands are already turning transparent.

Valentina seems to notice the same thing, shoulders dropping. “Oh, okay.”

“Wait, really?” It’s weird how that makes it twice no that some version of Valentina has seen her starting to disappear and didn’t freak out. At the back of her mind, Juliana wonders what that means.

Tiny Valentina shrugs. “You’ll be back.”

 

 

_Juliana is 18, Valentina is 21_

 

 

For the last few days Valentina has taken every opportunity to get out of her house. Every girl with a dark hair on the street had her turning her head. And when she was home, she was back to spend her time at the pool, for the odd chance maybe some other version of Juliana would visit her. But it’s one thing to wait around for a Juliana that’s living years away from her and it’s another to know that Juls is here.

There was once a time when Valentina was used to wait around for Juliana to show up. But it’s been so many years since she has last seen her that Valentina kind of got used to missing her. It was always there, of course, the feeling of something not right. How could it not be when Juls was her best friend? But life goes on and all that.

It’s fitting, she thinks, that she shows up again when Valentina maybe needs her the most, even if she doesn’t know Valentina yet. Last time she saw Juliana, Juliana had said it would be a while before they saw each other again. She neglected to say it would be 5 years. Valentina is a little bit terrified she won’t get to see this Juliana again.

But her worries, it seems, are baseless. She hears Juliana’s voice before seeing her, but it’s enough to catch her attention. Juliana is wearing an yellow shirt and a dark pair of jeans and its nothing like the Juliana Valentina has on her mind, who was always wearing something old from her mom’s closet or something weird like sequin pants because a young Valentina had a lot of fun buying clothes for her time traveling friend.

She jumps out of the car before the her driver is even completely parked, hears him telling her to be careful when she runs towards Juliana, and doesn’t stop running. But when she gets close, she hesitates in what to say.

She goes with something simple. “Juliana.”

“Jesus, you scared me.” Juliana turns around, hand on her chest. Valentina should have practiced what to say, really, because it’s silly of her to just stare at her like a fish out of water. ”Hum, what a coincidence.”

“Yeah. I was in the car and saw you, so I stopped,” she says. She kind of wants to reach of Juliana, to touch her, maybe a hug. Just to make sure she’s really there. But it would be too much, she thinks, for a girl who doesn’t know her. So she crosses her hands behind her back, holds it tight to physically stop herself. “Vamos por un café?”

Juliana takes a step back. “Hum, I can’t,” she says, and Valentina feels her heart beating fast. “I have to sell these.” Juliana waves the stack of paper on her hands.

“I’ll help,” she suggests. “I’m an good seller, I can convince people.”

Juliana presses her lips together, shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

“Juls,” she tries. “Just a coffee.”

Juliana pauses, her eyes narrowing. “This is not the first time you called me that.”

“Well, no,“ she hesitates, not sure what Juliana means. “I always call you that. Just one coffee, please.”

Juliana eyes are unfocused, her shoulders tense. It takes a while, but she finally nods, and Valentina shoulders drop with relief, her heartbeat slowing down a little. There’s a panaderia not too far away, one Valentina already knows, which makes her feel a little bit more in control. It’s a weird feeling knowing Juls for so long, but at the same time not knowing her at all.

It’s like walking around her home, but with blindfolds on: she thinks she knows where everything is, but she would still need to walk slower and there’s bound to be some stumbled toes. She already built a relationship with Juliana, even if so long ago. She relies on a Juliana who already knows her and even though she expected this, she doesn’t know exactly how to act around a Juliana that doesn’t.

It’s Juliana who breaks the silence, when they sit at a small table for two. “I met you,” she burst out. “I mean, tiny you.”

Valentina bites her smile. “Tiny me?”

Juliana blushes. “You must have been, I don’t know, 10?”

“Nine. I was nine the first time you saw me,” Valentina corrects. “Tiny me, that is.”

“First time?” Juliana asks, her eyes bulging. “There were more?”

“Many. You’ve been showing up in my pool since I was 5. Last time I was 15.”

Juliana slumps on her chair, her right hand rubbing her forehead. “I’m sorry,” she says.

Valentina is momentarily confused. “What for?”

“I think I hurt you that day. I think I made you cry.”

“Oh.” Valentina remembers that visit, but she also remembers the following, the one Juliana apologized. She never thought they would go through this again. “It’s okay. You already apologized.”

Juliana drops her hand on the table, lets out an incredulous laughter. “I did? Jesus Christ.”

“Yes. You told me you didn’t know me yet. You also told me you were scared of someone seeing you. Which, full disclosure, more than one person did. Many times.”

“What?”

Now it’s Valentina’s turn to laugh, at the horrified look on Juliana’s face. “A naked woman showing up in my pool? There’s no way people wouldn’t have noticed it. There are a lot of cameras in my house,” Valentina laughs, remembers when Chivis and Alirio first saw Juliana, and how they helped them hide all those years after it. Then she pauses, her laughter dying in her throat when she remembers someone else meeting Juliana. “Even my mom saw you a couple of times.”

“I know your mom?”

“Knew,” she says. It’s been years since her mom passed. Valentina is okay now, but there’s still an aching in her chest when Juls uses present tense. And even after all this time her voice still trembles a little when she continues. “You knew her. She died, a few years after I met you.”

Juliana reaches for her hand, just covers it with her own, warm and comforting. “I’m sorry.”

Valentina who turns her hand upwards and enlaces their fingers, without thinking. “It’s alright,” she shrugs. “You already helped me through it,” she says it like a joke, trying to lighten the mood, but it backfires.

Juliana drops her hand, goes back to slumping on her chair, putting some distance between them. Valentina wants to hit herself. “I’m being too much, aren’t I?”

“Please understand that I’m now trying to be hurtful,” Juliana says. She rests her elbows on the table, her chin on her hands. “You just talk like we know each other, but I don’t know you.”

“I know,” Valentina immediately agrees. It does hurt her a little bit, to face what it seems to be a rejection from someone she trusts so much. “You did told me to go easier on you, but I’m not doing a very good job, it seems.”

“No, it’s okay. I guess this must be weird for you too,” Juliana says. “I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that it seems like I’ve visited you not once, but many times. This doesn’t usually happen. I don’t usually go back to the same place. It’s too much of a coincidence.”

“I know,” Valentina pauses, unsure. She herself doesn’t understand it very well. “But big events pull you in, right?” She smiles when Juliana nods, dumbfounded. At the back of her mind there’s this thought of it being adorable. “I’m a big event.”

 

 

_Juliana is 23, Valentina is 21 and 26_

 

 

For the past 5 years, Juliana has been playing a game: trying to guess what year it is just by the pictures on Valentina’s bedroom. This time, there are already pictures of both of them together but also still some pictures of Val and Lucho, so that certainly narrows it down.

Late 2018, early 2019, probably. By now, Juliana has visited both past and future Valentina, many many times, but she has yet to visit a Valentina that had just met her, a scared 18-year-old who had just arrived from Texas, a Juliana who still didn’t have Valentina’s calming presence in her life. She was a whole different person back then, angry and hurt, maybe even a little hopeless.

“Juls, you’re here!”

Juliana turns around, finds Valentina standing by the door. “Hi, miss me?”

“Not really, you did just left,” Valentina, the ever so flirtatious, even when she doesn’t even notices, has the audacity to wink. Or try to, anyway, she never really mastered the art. Juliana finds the way she squints even more charming.  “Oh wow, it’s been so long.”

“I thought I just left?”

“You know what I mean,” Valentina huffs, almost skipping across the room. “You hair,” she says, touching the tips of Juliana’s hair. “It’s shorter” It’s soft, like Val always is. She runs her fingers through the hairs on the nape of her neck and Juliana can’t help but sigh into it. “My Juls’s is longer.”

Juliana smiles, leans forward just a little bit. “Am I not your Juls?”

Valentina’s eyes widen, and the blue in them almost disappear in the dark of her pupils. Even her cheeks get a little flustered. Usually, Juliana loves it, is delighted and a little bit smug when she makes Valentina lose her own smugness. But it’s not fair with a Valentina who’s not there yet, so she steps back, both literally and figuratively.

“So, how are you?”

Valentina drops her hand to her side, also steps back, sitting on her bed. “What made you come here?”

Juliana’s heart drop to her feet, her mind already going through possible scenarios of why Valentina asks that, tries to remember if they ever had a fight around this time. “What?”

“I’ve learned this past few weeks that you usually displace when something happens. If you are too stressed out, nervous,” Valentina pauses. “Or scared,” she continues, avoiding Juliana’s eyes.

“Oh.” It’s a reverse of their relationship, really. Usually, it’s Valentina who always thinks the worst of any misunderstanding, whereas Juliana is more calm and rational. “I’m just tired. Haven’t been sleeping very well lately. Don’t worry,” she adds when Valentina is about to ask. “It’s just work stuff.”

She’s designing some new pieces for an award show and she’s terrified of messing it up. Big names will be wearing, well, her name. It’s a make it or break it situation. It’s nice, actually, to be away from it for a while. Even if she will be worse off when she gets back, it’s not like she can do anything from when she is.

“Are you sure?” Valentina asks. She smiles when Juliana nods. “So, will you tell me about this super secret job of yours, finally?”

Juliana laughs, sits next to Valentina on the bed. “Will you ever give up?”

“Of you ever letting something from the future escape? Never. You are too uptight, Juls,” she says, leaning back on her pillows. “Come, lay down with me. Rest for a bit.”

Juliana doesn’t need to be told twice. Their bed is bigger now, and it’s Juliana’s safest space, but Valentina’s old bed is still soft and warm. “It’s for your own good, you know.”

Valentina rolls her eyes. “Boring.”

Juliana snorts, settles her head on Valentina’s pillow. Valentina turns to her, their noses almost touching. It’s nothing new to Juliana, who’s used to laying down next to her everyday, but she notices the way Valentina bites her lip, the way her eyes move, searching. She brings a hand to Juliana’s cheek, her fingers soft on her skin, tracing her cheekbones, her eyebrows, even the tip of her nose. Juliana’s eyelids get heavier, she fights to keep them open. Valentina brushes the tips of her fingers over them when Juliana’s looses the fight. She sighs, already halfway into sleep.

“Juls?”

“Hum?”

“Do you remember Guille’s party?” Valentina asks, her thumb now hovering lightly over Juliana’s lips. Juliana mumbles a quiet acknowledgement. “I can’t stop thinking about you in that dress.”

That gets Juliana to open her eyes again. She looks at Valentina, and where she usually sees some kind of confidence and trust, she find only nervousness and confusion. She covers Valentina’s hand with her own, presses a kiss to her palm. “Don’t you think this is a conversation you should have with another me?”

“I’m scared.”

“Of?”

Valentina takes a deep breath, eyes falling down to Juliana’s lips. “It was never supposed to be like this,” she says, almost distracted. “You were my by best friend,  Juls. Is. What if -,” she stops. The shake of her head would have been imperceptible if Juliana wasn’t so close.

“What if?” Juliana prompts.

Valentina sighs, looks away from her. “What if I’m getting everything wrong? What if you leave?”

 Juliana brings their hands together to rest between her own chin and chest, with a kiss to her knuckles.  “I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Juliana wakes up sometime later, in her own bed, and Valentina is older, but still laying next to her. She adjusts herself, moving so she can rest her head on the curve of Val’s shoulder. In the back of her mind she knows there’s still some final touches on her projects to be made, but she feels Valentina’s hand pressing against her waist, pulling her a little bit closer, and can’t bare the thought of getting up.

“Okay?” Valentina murmurs.

Juliana nods. “Yeah.”

She presses a kiss to Val’s sternum, closes her eyes again.

 

 

_Juliana is 18, Valentina is 21_

 

 

Being a time traveller is anything but glamourous. Movies and TV make it seem fun and cool with pretty clothes and funny mix-ups. There’s some kind of cool machine, whether it’s a car or police box, which just makes no sense, and people can take things with them, which would definitely be nice for a change. They get inside a car and they drive from one year to the other, type some numbers on a keyboard and they can chose the date, just like that. And, most importantly: it’s never painful.

Reality is another thing.

It’s almost always painful. Sometimes less, sometimes more. Sometimes she feels it coming, she gets cold, there’s a tingling in her toes. Those time are the nice times, when she can run somewhere before disappearing, when she can remove her clothes, when she can hide her phone somewhere safe (Juliana has lost count of how many phones she’s lost. Which is why she never has the latest model - well, that and she wouldn’t be able to afford one anyway).

Sometimes, there’s no warning at all. Just pain.

The first time she time travelled was the moment of the car accident that killed her father. She wonders if maybe that’s the pain she’s relieving. Maybe when her bones feel like are all breaking, she’s felling the impact. When her skin burns, maybe that’s the fire. When the tingling in her toes turns to needles sticking into her body, maybe that’s the glass splinters cutting into her skin.

Just once or twice, she felt nothing. Just here one second, gone the other. She blinked in one place and was fully naked in another when she opened her eyes. No warning, no pain.

The warning is always nice. The pain is somewhat manageable, in the sense that she has no other choice but to deal with it. The worst part is the unpredictability.

Juliana would rather feel pain every time, if she could at least know where she would end up. Not even when. When she would let to time decide, whenever it want to take her. But the where? God, Juliana would give anything.

Because maybe then she wouldn’t be standing here, in a police station, wrapped in a large police coat, because that’s what the officer who found her had. The officer who found her naked, hiding behind a dumpster, in God Knows Where, Ciudad de Mexico, DF.

She’s embarrassed and she’s angry and honestly a tiny little bit afraid. A small part of her wants time to take her away, to work in her favor for once, but another thinks it will not make things better. Would she be considered a fugitive?

She doesn’t even know what’s gonna happen. She doesn’t think the officer who found her knows either. Juliana would take a wild guess and say this is a first for him too. So she’s just sits there, head down, eyes on her shaking hands, and waits.

“Juliana?”

There’s a sharp pain in her neck when her head snaps up too quickly, and between that and the blinding lights of the precinct, it takes a while for her eyes to focus on the person standing by the door. Not the she needs to see her to recognize the voice.

“Juliana, qué haces?” Valentina for real pushes the officer standing at the door to the side and runs towards her. “What happened? Are you okay?”

She kneels in from of her, cupping Juliana’s face in her hands. Juliana is still too embarrassed to allow herself to respond, but somewhere inside her heart already  feels a bit warmer.

“Juls,” Valentina sighs her name, her eyes soft. Juliana knows her enough now to know she’s holding back tears. “Why are you here? Did something happen? Is your mom --”

“No,” Juliana shakes her head. “My mom is fine. This was, you know, just me, in places where I shouldn’t be. Naked,” she adds, just in case Valentina didn’t understand.

“I see,” Valentina nods. “But, estás bien? You’re not hurt?”

Only her dignity, but that she’s already used to, so she shakes her head. Valentina stands up, holding one of Juliana’s hands in hers, the other a comfortable pressure on her shoulder.

“Inspector Montilla, can we go?” Valentina asks.

It’s only then that Juliana notices the two other men in the room with the officer who found her. One is another police officer, but the other Juliana hadn’t seen before.

“Miss Valentina, I don’t think that’s wise,” the officer says.

“Why not? Is she being arrested?” Valentina asks again. Juliana eyes widen, mouth agape. For all her nervousness before, this was not something she had considered.

“No, of course not. We just want to be sure --”

“So we can go,” Valentina interrupts, looking to the man beside him. Juliana isn’t sure of what’s going go, much less of what she should do.

The only one who looks more confused than she feels is the officer who found her. Valentina’s anger is clear by the way she bites the inside of her cheek. The officer Valentina was speaking to and the man next to him exchange looks, the officer sighing when the man raises his eyebrows.

“Yes, you can go,” he finally says.

Juliana has absolutely no idea of what just happened, but she’s not complaining. She wouldn’t have time for it either, because Valentina pulls her to her feet and starts walking towards to the door. The officer who allowed them to go stops them before they can actually leave.

“Valentina, please,” he says. “Maybe you should consider your friendships. It can be dangerous.”

Juliana feels her heart falling to her feet. She wants to run away, she wants to hide, she wants to scream. Valentina doesn’t let her do any of it. She just wraps her arm around Juliana’s shoulders, walks right past him.

“I can take care of myself.”

She maneuvers them both out of the station, straight to her car. Her driver runs out of it to open the door for them, but Valentina beats him to it. She waits for Juliana to get inside first, stops outside to speak with the man who was with her.

“My lawyer,” she says when she sits next to Juliana. Juliana wants to put some distance between them, maybe sit right by the window, but she stays where she is. Even moving this small distance seems too much right now. “The investigations about my dad” Valentina says, dismissing it with her hand. “Juls, what happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Juls.”

“What do you want me to say, Val?” Juliana lashes out. It’s not even like she can say anything with Valentina’s driver listening. “Thank you for getting me out of there, but really. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. Just had the misfortune of someone seeing me.”

Juliana kind of regrets her tone the minute her words are out of her mouth. Val did nothing but being kind, and helpful, and understanding, like she always is. But that’s the point, maybe.

It kind of makes it worse.

Because that officer back there? He was right. Being around her is dangerous. Not only she embarrassed herself, but now also Valentina, who had to save her from the police. Juliana has known Valentina for less than 3, maybe 4 months, and she’s already dragging Valentina into the mess that is her life.

“You can just leave me at the park, I can walk home,” she says, hugging herself.

Valentina narrows her eyes. “No.”

“What?”

“Alirio, we’re going home,” she says to her drive.

“What? No.”

“Yes.”

“Valentina, no. You’ve helped me enough. It’s fine, really. I can go home.”

“I won’t leave you.”

“Val.”

“You are coming with me,” Valentina declares.

“Val, you heard the police officer. Being around me is dangerous,” Juliana tries.

Valetina rolls her eyes. “I don’t care what he said.”

“I don’t want to get you in trouble, Val,” she tries again, hoping Valentina will see it from her point of view. Valentina is always too stubborn. The last thing Juliana wants is to hurt her.

“Dejate querer, por favor, Juliana. Ya.“ Valentina snaps, her tone sharp. It’s enough of a shock that stops both of them.

Juliana swallows dry. In a way, she knows Valentina is right. She doesn’t need to dig deep enough to realize she has issues with letting people in. It started young, she thinks, and it’s hard to grow out of it. Around her dad she was always afraid and around her mom, well. She loves her mom, but the don’t exactly have the best relationship.

Juliana doesn’t even blame her. Her mom didn’t sign up to be a single mom to a time traveler child. Juliana learned very long that she was alone. She was alone at home, hiding from her dad and her parents fights with her headphones around her ears, she was alone at school, because nobody wanted to be friends with the poor girl who lived on a trailer park, and she was alone in time. Sometime here, sometimes there, jumping from one year to another, never having the luxury to trust someone.

So meeting someone new, letting that person close enough to maybe want to take care of her? Juliana is not used to it. She doesn’t know how.

“I’m sorry,” Valentina says, her voice small.

“No, you’re right,” Juliana says. She looks down at her lap, not wanting to look at Valentina. Next to her, she feels Valentina taking a deep breath. “Let myself be loved is something I need to do.”

Valentina turns her head and Juliana meets her eyes but averts them right away. It kind of feels like too much. Being around Valentina, feeling her warmth next to her, accepting that maybe she’s not going anywhere. Look into her eyes on top of that?

Nope. Too much.

“You and everyone,” Valentina says. Juliana knows she’s only saying it to break the tension, but well, it works.

Valentina rests her hand on Juliana’s thigh, palm up. It’s nothing, just a small gesture. But to Juliana it’s everything. She hesitates, not sure if it means what she thinks it means. What if she holds her hand, but Valentina doesn’t want it? What if she’s just actually resting her arm on Juliana’s thigh?

She knows she can overanalyze this situation for as long as it will take for them to reach Val’s house, probably longer. But she also knows that she just wants to hold Valentina’s hand, just wants to be a little closer.

So she does. And Val holds tight.

They sit in silence for the rest of the way, Valentina’s thumb drawing circles on the back of Juliana’s hand. Her head fits just right when she rests it on Valentina’s shoulder. It’s nice and comfortable and everything Juliana doesn’t usually allow herself to be. She feels a kiss pressed to the side of her head and she thinks Valentina is probably the most patient person she has ever met.

Val lets her freak out, never pushing too far, but never backing down. She accepts when Juliana has to go, and it kind of always makes Juliana want to come back. Juliana is not used to gentle smiles. Juliana is not used to pretty girls with gentle smiles.

By now, she has already met two versions of Valentina, and she knows there are more to come. It’s easy to set the two apart, since one is well, a child. And the other is…

Well, someone who’s taken residence in her mind for the past few weeks. Always with the smiles, the soft touches, the charming words, and the look of genuinely happiness when she sees her.

There’s a part of her that is afraid Valentina only likes her because she knew Juliana before. It’s weird thought, one she’s pretty sure 99% of the population doesn’t have to worry about, but she’s the 1% that lives the weirdest life, so.

“Wanna go for a swim?” Valentina asks when the car slows down in her driveway.

“Now?”

Valentina shrugs. “Maybe it will help take your mind of things.”

Juliana is a bit tired, but floating (or trying to) does seem nice, especially with Valentina by her side. Her nod is tiny, but it’s enough to make Valentina smile in that specific way that makes Juliana’s heart skip one beat or three.

They change in silence, and Juliana really does think she should maybe have some swimwear at Valentina’s, so she doesn’t need to always borrow some, but she’s not sure she even own any.

She enters the pool slowly, like she always does, carefully going down one step at a time. Valentina jumps on the other side, head first. It’s beautiful the way she moves, it’s beautiful the way her eyes shine when she lifts her head out of the water, it’s beautiful the say she smiles.

“Qué?” Valentina asks. “Why are you looking at me like this?”

She can’t go ahead and say Valentina is the most beautiful girl she has ever seen, so. “Why do you like me?”

Valentina looks taken aback. In hindsight, maybe saying she was beautiful would have been easier than to open this new line of conversation, Juliana thinks.

“What do you mean?” Valentina asks, and Juliana grimaces, regretful. “No, don’t take it back now. What do you mean?”

Valentina stands up straight, takes a step closer. Juliana watches the way a drop of water runs down her neck, to the swell of her breasts, and takes a step back, looking away.

“Maybe you only like me now because you knew me before,” she says.

Valentina’s eyebrows squish together, head moving back slightly. “You think I only like you now because I knew you when I was a child?”

It’s a logical thought - she can only imagine that time traveling to a child’s life and being a part of it can have everlasting effects. The other possibility is that Juliana spent her whole life’s supply of luck by having Valentina meet her twice, and liking her for her both times.

Maybe that’s whey she was unlucky enough to be found naked by a cop. She has no luck anymore, it was all spent on Valentina liking her.

Valentina sighs Juliana’s name, shakes her head. “That makes no sense.”

Juliana looks down at the water, her hands moving side to side, creating little swirls with the way the water moves. She wishes she knew how to swim, so she could stick her head under water and swim away from this conversation.

“Juls, mírame,” Valentina asks. It takes a while, but Juliana looks up, find Valentina’s eyes shining blue. They look even bluer now, reflecting the water. Juliana thinks, not for the first time, that they look safe; the softness in them making her feel protected in a way she isn’t used to. “It makes no sense. I like you because I like you. I knew you before, yes, but you are so different, you have no idea.”

“Different how?”

Valentina takes Juliana’s hand in hers. “For once, you knew how to swim,” she says, smiling. Juliana rolls her eyes, presses her lips together. “I’m sorry, I still think it’s funny that I’m the one teaching you how to swim now, when you played with me in the pool before.”

“That’s not funny,” Juliana says, hates how whiny it sounds.

Valentina makes a small gesture with her thumb and index finger and says, “It’s a tiny bit funny.” Juliana rolls her eyes again, bites her lip to hide her smile. “But don’t you see, Juls? This is my point. The you I knew as a child is not the you I know now. I realize now that I never knew much about you, you never told me anything. You always said it was because I shouldn’t know about my future, which makes sense. But you kept too much of yourself hidden away. And not in the same way you do now. Back then you were always comfortable around me, at least I think you were, but now you always keep your distance. At the same time, back then I knew nothing. I just thought it was cool to have a friend from the future.”

Valentina is standing so close Juliana wants to look away again. Her eyes seems to have a mind of their own and have already looked down at the way Valentina licked her lips whenever she paused between her words. Between Valentina’s eyes, her lips and her words, Juliana is getting a little dizzy.

“I like you now because of you,” Valentina continues. “Because you stopped when you saw me crying and you didn’t even know me. Because you made me smile after my dad. I like you. Can you accept that?”

Juliana sighs. It will probably take more than a few conversations to make her believe this is real. That she has an actual friend, someone who knows her and accepts her. Someone who just likes her. But right now, she just want to escape this conversation, and escape Valentina’s eyes. And she wants her heart to stop beating so fast, wants her eyes to stop looking at Valentina’s lips or at the droplets of water running down her neck. So she nods.

“You promise?”

“Ya, Val,” she forces out a laugh and takes a step back, thinking it will help her calm down a little. “I promise.”

“Good,” Valentina says. “Now, you wanna practice floating again?”

Her yes has more to do with the way Valentina looks really cute jumping on her feet in excitement, but Valentina doesn’t need to know that.

“Don’t let me go,” she asks, as she lowers her self down, holding tightly to Val’s arms.

It’s silly, she knows, to be afraid of water in a shallow pool. But still, she’s tense until she feels Valentina’s arms wrapped around her back.

“You are doing it,” she hears.

“Please don’t let me go,” Juliana begs, squinting closed eyes together firmly.

“I won’t,” Valentina says. “I won’t, Juls, but you’re doing it! I’m gonna do it too, okay?”

She feels Valentina’s hand leave her back, but she still holds tight to her arm and hand.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m floating next to you,” Valentina says.

It’s one of the nicest feelings Juliana has ever felt. For the first time in her life, she feels what is like to float on water. How lighter her body feels, how she can feel her breathing, the air entering her lungs, and Valentina’s hand in hers. It’s peace like she never felt, it’s the absence of the pain she’s so used to.

She can’t help but laugh, free. Valentina laughs next to her, both of them losing their balance. Juliana’s feet find the floor again, Valentina in front of her.

Between laughs, Valentina says, “I’m so proud, you did it!”

Valentina stands up and Juliana doesn’t know how exactly she ended up with her hands around Val’s waist. She moves to removes then, but Valentina steps closer, and Juliana doesn’t know what to do, her hands flailing around Val’s body, not touching but not moving either.

Valentina touches their foreheads together, their noses almost brushing. Valentina’s breath is warm where it touches her face, and Juliana hopes the cold water can hide the real reason why she trembles. Valentina’s eyes drop to her lips, Juliana is sure of it, but she can’t move.

She knows what is coming, but she can’t bring herself to meet Valentina halfway. She’s paralyzed, too scared to do anything wrong. It’s Valentina who needs to be brave, because Juliana is terrified.

When their lips touch, when Valentina kisses her, she feels like floating for a whole different reason. Valentina’s lips are soft, like all of her is. Juliana’s eyelids flutter and close, her mind goes blank. There’s nothing now but the feel of Valentina’s lips on hers, the way her tongue brushes slightly over her bottom lip and it makes Juliana shudder. Valentina holds her hands, presses them against her own body, and Juliana knows it’s permission to hold her closer, or maybe even a request. One she follows, because this is the feeling that she was looking for her whole life, this is the feeling of belonging she was missing, the feeling of everything right.

Her lips are tingling, her heart seems torn between wanting to skip a thousand beats and wanting to beat slowly. She feels Valentina’s hand on her hair, always soft, so soft. Valentina’s fingers run through her scalp, just behind her ear, and goosebumps start there and run down Juliana’s whole body.

She’s so consumed all the new sensations in her body that it takes her a while to notice the old ones, like the way her toes a tingling in a different way, that the feeling in her chest is not only her heat expanding with desire to love and be loved, that she can barely feel Valentina’s skin under her fingertips anymore.

She breaks the kiss, but stays close, like she always wants to stay.

“Oh,” Valentina breathes through her mouth. “You’re leaving.” It’s not a question. Her voice is so small, Juliana already wants to beg for forgiveness. “Will you come back?”

Juliana barely has time to nod before time takes her away.

**Author's Note:**

> so, this was supposed to be an one-shot, but it's taking me forever to finish it, so here, have a two part fic instead.
> 
> come find me on [ tumblr](https://countessofkilmartin.tumblr.com/), if you want  
> title from hear the bells by naomi scott


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